The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Alive.
So much puke
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
