i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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