We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
