i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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