Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
