i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's always time for handjobs
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
