we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
