So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
