Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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