I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
