Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
