Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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