Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize