i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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