Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
