hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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