i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
