At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
