Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Never joke about your clitoris.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
