I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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