I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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