I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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