this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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