So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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