It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
