Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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