u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
