I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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