My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
