I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
