So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
