It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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