There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
