I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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