I just pynch a tree in the face
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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