As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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