I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Someone signed my nipple.
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