she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
