it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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