I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
