I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
