Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
