hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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