My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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