life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
