Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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