): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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