Where is the hickey?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
