Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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