You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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