I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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