we have pet lesbian snakes
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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