People with herpes should wear stickers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
