But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wear drunk well.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
