Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
