Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
