Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
