Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
