just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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