what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
