capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
