He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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